What is Anxiety? My everyday Struggle

I have been wanting to write this post for a really long time now but it’s been really hard for me to put into words all that I am feeling and all that I want to say. I really hope by opening up about this that my words can inspire others and be of some comfort!

What Is anxiety?! 

 The dictionary’s definition is “A mental health disorder characterized by feelings of worry, anxiety, or fear that are strong enough to interfere with one's daily activities”

There are different kinds of anxiety such as, panic attacks, phobia’s, social anxiety. Anxiety is something I think we all feel at least once in our lives it’s a normal emotion. Some examples are when we are speaking in public maybe when we speak in church. We get really nervous and wonder if we have written the right talk or if we are going to talk too slow or too fast or even if we are going to mess it all up. Most people who have one worry and fear can manage those feelings and get back to a fulfilling life.

An anxiety disorder is a little bit more complex. They can cause such distress that it interferes with your ability to lead a normal life. This is excessive, unrealistic worry, even if there’s little or nothing to provoke the anxiety.  Here are some symptoms of anxiety

·        Feeling panic, fear and uneasiness

·        Trouble sleeping

·        Cold or sweaty hands or feet

·        Shortness of breath

·        Fast beating heart

·        Not being able to sit still

·        Dry mouth

·        Numbness or tingling in the hands or feet

·        Nauseas

·        Muscle tension

·        Dizziness

There are a lot of different causes of anxiety. It can be a mix of things including your genes, changes in your brain, and the things you experience in life. Anxiety run’s really high in my family. I have a lot of family members who struggle with anxiety.

Anxiety disorders are the MOST COMMON MENTAL ILLNESS IN THE U.S!!!! Anxiety is also the number 1 treated illness! There are a lot of different ways to get help. Medication, and seeing a therapist are the most common ways to overcome an anxiety disorder.  I really feel like anxiety gets shoved under the rug and no one wants to talk about. I have felt so judged when people find out about my anxiety. I feel like people just think it’s all in my head and that I’m crazy and to those people who judge someone with anxiety. Shame on you! Anxiety is a real thing. I have a really great person in my life who told me this once “You won’t tell someone whit diabetes to not take insulin so why would someone with a mental problem not take medication” Medication can really help balance your brain out to help with your anxiety. I have been one of those people. It has been really hard for me to admit that I had a problem. I always knew that I had anxiety ever since I was in Jr High school. It never really affected me that bad till later in life though. It can be really scary to tell people that something is going on but yet people feel like it’s not a problem at all but you know and feel like its major. I really wish people could understand how serious anxiety is. People may tell you all the time that your crazy and it’s all in your head. Let me just tell you right now that YOU ARE NOT CRAZY!!!! YOU ARE NEVER ALONE! Here is an awesome quote that really helps me when I’m feeling alone “Never assume that you can make it alone. You need the help of the lord. Never hesitate to get on your knees in some private place and speak with him- Gordon B. Hinckley”

I want to tell you a little bit about my story and struggle with anxiety. I have struggled with it for a really long time. And for a really long time I felt so alone in this. I felt like my own Husband had no idea who I was or how I was feeling. Honestly I felt like he thought I was crazy. He didn’t understand me at all. And that hurt so bad. I was always so anxious about EVERYTHING. I could not calm down to save my life. I was on edge and just couldn’t think right. I wasn’t the mother and wife and daughter or friend that I really needed to be. I tried all different kinds of medication and nothing seemed to work like I needed it too. It was hard to find the right balance.  Back in December of 2015 I had a miscarriage. We have been trying to have a baby for a little over 2 years so this was totally devastating to me! I was even afraid to tell Brock about it.  It really took me threw a roller coaster ride. With the pain and all the emotions. It was one of the hardest times in my life and I felt like some of the closest people to me really didn’t show that they cared or knew what to say to me.  I felt like they thought it was a joke. I felt like people didn't believe me and that hurt so bad. This was really hard in itself but to add anxiety on top of it made it so much worse. It was really hard for me to be able to move forward and try to get my life back. I finally took the leap of faith and decided since I have tried medication and that didn’t help the way I needed it too that I needed to see a therapist. It has been the BIGGEST blessing in my life. It helped me control my anxiety and be able to train my thinking to help me in tough situations. My Husband has been my greatest strength. He stuck by my side and sat through therapy with me and helped me become myself again. Our loving Savior has been there helping me and guiding me through this all. He has been there reminding me what my worth is and how great of a daughter of god that I am. I am so grateful for our loving Heavenly Father for helping me through this struggle! i always went back to this picture when times got and still get really hard. He truly knows our struggles and is there to hold us through it all! 

I’m able to be way more balanced and way more calm when I need to be. I still have anxiety attacks and still really struggle with it. It is something I will always struggle with.  I am honestly so grateful for this trial. It’s really hard for me to say that but I really am. It has helped me become the person I am today. I am stronger, I am wiser, I trust more. I open up about things that before would scare me. I am grateful because I feel like I can help others with this trail as well. I want to be a strength to others.

I have some really close family and friends who struggle with this and it’s so hard to see people you love struggle so much. I have read a really great talk that has really helped me and opened my eyes to this struggle. These quotes are from Elder Holland’s talk Like a Broken Vessel-

If you are the one afflicted or a caregiver to such, try not to be overwhelmed with the size of your task. Don’t assume you can fix everything, but fix what you can. If those are only small victories, be grateful for them and be patient. Dozens of times in the scriptures, the Lord commands someone to “stand still” or “be still”—and wait. 6 Patiently enduring some things is part of our mortal education.

For caregivers, in your devoted effort to assist with another’s health, do not destroy your own. In all these things be wise. Do not run faster than you have strength. 7 Whatever else you may or may not be able to provide, you can offer your prayers and you can give “love unfeigned.” 8 “Charity suffered long, and is kind; … [it] beareth all things, … hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never faileth.” 9

Also let us remember that through any illness or difficult challenge, there is still much in life to be hopeful about and grateful for. We are infinitely more than our limitations or our afflictions!

I know without a shadow of a doubt that Anxiety can be treated! I want everyone who reads this to know that you are never alone! There is hope out there for everyone. I know our loving heavenly father is there to guide us through our most difficult challenges in life. I LOVE all of you and hope this has helped shine some light on anxiety and have been of some comfort to those who need it! I hope you all share this with friends and family who may need a little help!